Bathroom Etiquette
Posted by Jenny on 09/20/06 in Daily
I am not a bathroom talker. There I said it. At work or in public restrooms I am not one to start chatting at the sink and god forbid while in a stall. It’s not that I have some weird bathroom phobia, but I’d just rather get in and out and have a casual chat in a … nicer environment.
Of course there are some exceptions to this rule, for instance, if I am out with my friends at a bar. But by the point I find it ok to chat in the bathroom those conversations more or less go a little something like this: “Oh my god. I drank waaay tooooo munch. Haha. I said munch, but I meant…wait….what? You know what’s a funny word? Munch.”
So imagine my horror – HORROR – when someone started chatting me up in the floor-shared work bathroom last week. Floor shared as in three companies share one bathroom, so I do not know more than half of the women I see day to day.
So where does this stranger choose to chat me up? Not at the sink, not while entering or exiting the bathroom, but while she was full on PEEING. And I was in the stall next to her.
And what does she say to me?
“Hey, I love the color you chose for your toenails. Is it an OPI color?”
OMG. OMG. Not only are you talking to me WHILE peeing, but you are LOOKING AT ME under the stall!
I sat there for what felt like twenty minutes trying to figure out what to say (because answering “Yes this is an OPI color – Cajun Shrimp!” was too god damn difficult. WE WERE PEEING PEOPLE!)
In the end, I waited until we were both at the sink and answered her all awkward and horrified.
Sometimes I forget how much of a social retard I am until something like that happens.
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san | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
people are strange ;)
Tacky | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
Small talk at a urinal is much worse. At least you have a wall separating you.
Jeff | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
Gross man…there is a guy that wants to have full conversations with whomever is standing next to him in the bathroom here :Z
sarah | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
i don’t even like when someone is in a multi-stalled public restroom at the same time as me. unless i am drunk. then i like to make inappro observations to strangers like “omg your boobs look great in that shirt!”.
jaynie | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
sucks. she sucks.
i do like cajun shrimp as a toenail color though. It’s second in line for the toes next to Skinny Dippin’ in Lake Michigan. Must be part of the same “bayou/lake series”…
Gina | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
Bizarre. I find that I get nervous in situations like that and then I can’t finish what I started…if you know what I mean…And then, you know, you try to make noise like pulling out more toilet paper hoping that it’ll break the awkward silence, while saying a silent prayer: “please go away, please go away.” Talk about discomfort. Whatever happened to personal space?!
Jenny | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
Gina, I totally get it. And yeah, what DID ever happen to personal space!
erinire | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
I’ve been meaning to write something about bathroom etiquette… but the story about the two ladies having a conversation about their respective Vegas vacations while one was taking a huge dump in the handicapped stall was just too disturbing for me to revisit in a full-on blog post.
hooker | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
yeah. Nothing worse than urinal talk. You walk up. You unsheath… you spit once… you start your engine. you flush.. you walk to the sink. No talk.
Jenny | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
Erin … that is disgusting.
BLOG ABOUT IT.
hetherjw | Sep 20, 2006 | Reply
“Sometimes I forget how much of a social retard I am until something like that happens.”
This is her being socially retarded. Talking in bathrooms is just wrong.
Shanna | Sep 21, 2006 | Reply
What I hate more than people talking to me in the bathroom is when there are 3+ stalls that are open and someone comes in and chooses the one right next to you.
YOU HAVE THE WHOLE BATHROOM, why do you have to sit so close.
Roger | Sep 22, 2006 | Reply
Along the same lines, though more acceptable, my youngest likes to come in whenever I’m brushing my teeth or hair or shaving or whatever, sit down on the toilet and go about his business. He’s nine now and has been doing it forever, so it’s no big deal (we’re a family of six in a one bathroom home). He doesn’t do it as much as he used to, but what’s funny is when he starts up a conversation part way through, and instead of pausing while he’s pushing (if it’s an especially difficult poop), he just keeps motorin’ through his story and he gets that forced speech. (Talk out loud and pretend to force while you’re still talking, if you need to get what I’m saying.)
I’m thinking 10′ll be the cut off for sharing the bathroom with the ol’ man though. Lol. At least when he’s noisy he apologizes. Nothing funnier than hearing all manner of activity down there and then; “sorry dad”.
Wrote a poem about it once. Lol.
karrie | Sep 24, 2006 | Reply
There was a pretty high-level exec at my last job who would continue chatting to people in adjacent stalls. (Small company).Talk about awkward.
A friend and I overheard what we think was a call girl or some other sex worker, talking loudly into her cellphone, in the old Filene’s bathroom. She was describing a coworker who “pissed all over her chair. And the chair smelled and shit. Yeah, she just pissed her fucking pants, and sat in it. And she’s a big girl, YOU KNOW WHAT I”M SAYIN’? Oh yeah, yeah…and then when the client showed up, she kissed him.” and so on. My friend and I were shaking trying to keep it together and not bust out laughing until we made it back into the store.
karrie | Sep 24, 2006 | Reply
(In case it was not clear, this woman was perched on the toilet in the stall next to me while she made the call.)