My friend Ted has a very eclectic taste in music, movies and television. Along with all the eclecticness is a very weird, subtle sense of humor where you really never know what you’re going to get from him. Sometimes there is a very fine line of what will make him laugh ’til it hurts and what will offend him so deeply, he’ll leave the room and not talk for two days*.

(*Ok that was only once. And “the thing” was pretty offensive, but the rest of us thought offensive in a completely disgusting yet humorous way. Ted was very disgusted. And horrified. And deeply offended. The thing no longer exists so I guess it doesn’t matter what it was. But now you’re all interested. And now I have to tell you. Fine. But if you close out this blog and not talk to me for two days don’t say I didn’t warn you.

A lot of my friend’s have a weird sense of humor. Last Memorial Day we had a birthday cookout for my friend Andy. It was his 30th. One of his fellow Random Acts of Violence band members (NOT Hooker) presented him with a gift. THE THING. It was a DVD. Of porn. Which about 10 of us popped in the DVD player that Sunday morning. The DVD was called “Go F*ck Yourself” and starred all men. Who were filmed alone. Following the instructions of the title. If you can’t figure that out, don’t try, don’t google it, just let that one go. Either way, all the color drained out of Ted’s face and he just backed out of the room muttering things under his breath.)

Sometimes I think if I didn’t know Ted as well as I do, I would think he was friggin crazy most of the time.

A few weeks ago, a bunch of us were gathered in the kitchen and Ted just started laughing. Not at us, not at what we were talking about. Just laughing. Then he grabbed my laptop and said “You have to see this. Shoes. Fuck yeah. Let’s get ‘em.”

These kind of outbursts are not uncommon, but he said “SHOES” with such enthusiasm, we knew this had to be good. (I told you if you didn’t know him, you’d think he was crazy.)

And then this is what he pulled up. Which we watched about 10 times in a row. You can thank me later. (There are some “swear words” in here and it has to be watched with sound, so it’s probably NSFW.)