Beau (name altered to keep protect the guilty. Although, I suppose the following story makes him innocent. Or just plain stupid.): When I was a freshman in college I became really good friends with this girl Anne, who had a dorm room really close to a class that we had together. Eventually we got to be such good friends, she’d let me crash for an hour after our art history class and before my drawing class Mondays and Wednesdays.
Jenny: She probably liked you.
Beau: One day, we went back to her dorm room and she complained that her thighs were sore.
Jenny: Oh god, she wanted you bad.
Beau: Then she said “I’m going to change into boxer shorts. Will you massage my thighs?”
Jenny: SERIOUSLY!? I hope you had sex with her.
Beau: Then I massaged her legs for an hour.
Jenny: AND?
Beau: Then I looked at my watch and said..
Jenny: No you didn’t.
Beau: “Well, I have to get to class.”
Jenny: You’re an idiot.
Beau: Then I left her room, headed to the elvator, pressed the down button and then it hit me. I’m an idiot.
Kelly (Beau’s current lady): Uh, yeah. You really are. Years later we were at one of those free concerts in Boston and this ridiculously hot girl ran up to him and started screaming about how good he looked and how she hadn’t seen him in so long. And he looked at me and said…
Beau: That’s the girl.
Kelly: Then I looked at him and, surrounded by thousands of people, screamed “I can’t believe you didn’t have sex with her. She is gorgeous. What is wrong with you.”
Beau: I was being a gentleman. And she said her thighs hurt!
Kelly and Jenny: Idiot.
Beau: Thank you. Really. Thanks. So, in conclusion, sometimes it’s not you. Sometimes boys really are just that stupid.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
“Sometimes boys really are just that stupid”
- I’d hate for this to be your only comparative basis for generalizing all males as “sometimes” stupid. This boy was obviously. However, the vast majority would have taken complete advantage of the situation, and hence, under your criterion, shown intelligence.
Furthermore, sometimes, nay I say for my tastes, all the times, a challenge is much preferred over “I’m going to change into boxer shorts. Will you massage my thighs?†:)
It’s all about reading between the lines. Maybe he could have used cue cards to signify that he should have totally hit that…
C’mon…you don’t have to protect Hooker ;)
haha. see the difference between hooker and this beau character is beau missed the mark, hooker would have said something ridiculously awkward.
And people wonder why guys screw up Christmas presents…
same thing happened to me in highschool. but not thighs. shoulders.
HEY!
I will have you know that she is now married to a man in texas, and I still hate myself.
Hey, I think I’m late to the new design party and all, but I just wanted to say: looks awesome.
ok. maybe i am stupid. why do guys have to jump on the first offer? maybe she wasn’t THAT hot back then *g*
haha no … apparently they had been doing this for A YEAR. small hints at first and then the whole THIGH thing. after the fact he finally put it all together. but by then it was too late. haha.