Job listings, particularly in my field, drive me crazy. This is not to say that I am “looking for a new job”, I just always like to know what’s out there, where and for how much. I never want to think that “this is it” and besides, I think you have to stay on top of the market to stay in the game.
But back to my original point, job listings are maddening. I nearly drove myself crazy trying to find a new job for a year. Earlier on this week, it was particularly slow at work, so I clicked my way through some Craigslist and Monster postings and had the same near-mental breakdown I did last year.
Why?
Because so many of the jobs titles that pique my interest have descriptions and requirements that read like this (my notes in italics):
Marketing Coordinator*
- The Marketing Coordinator is responsible coordinating monthly/annual mailings and promotional projects. (Ok. A little vague, but good start.) Projects will include (Oh goodie. Details.): direct mailings, website optimization, website maintenance, advertising (electronic/print), collateral creation, and other misc tasks that may be required (Phew. Ok. That was a long….).
- The coordinator will also (Oh wait. There’s more….) develop and submit specifications and counts to production for quotes, conduct and compile reports for research, evaluation, as well as create a recommendation log for internal or externil literature. (Um. Yup. Do I have a moment to absorb all tha….).
- Further responsibilities (“FURTHER” … ok we’re still going.) require imput in planning, creation and execution of all marketing campaigns, creation and maintenance of all budgets, inclusive of PR tasks including but not limited to (Read: all of this and more) press releases, contacting and providing information for the press and all media outlets, writing, designing, coding, and optimizing website content, and uses judgment in solving marketing and admin related problems. (Can I take a nap?)
Technical Requirements (ohhh-wee): proficient in Microsoft Office Suite: Word, Excel, PowerPoint; Adobe Creative Suite: Illistrator, Photoshop, InDesgin; Macromedia Suite: Dreamweaver, Flash, Fireworks; Quark, Frontpage, PageMaker, Constant Contact, ACT. (Oh…is that it?)
- The new coordinator must be Internet savvy (a firm grasp of PHP, CSS and Javascript preferred) and effective in researching and assessing differnt administration software programs. (Seriously…about that nap.)
Bachelor’s degree with 2 – 3 years related experience. Compensation: $28,000 – $35,000 based on experience. (ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?)
(Although, to be fair, most I’ve found are in the $30,000-$45,000 range and still. STILL!)
SERIOUSLY.
This is a job description for A SINGLE POSITION IN THE COMPANY.
Now I do not think that I am going to get a job and sit on my ass blogging all day (well …. sort of). When I get hired for a position, I fully expect to pull my weight and do what is required of me.
But this “job description” is a joke. And it is only proof that people who have NO KNOWLEDGE of marketing, design, PR, or web development are writing these things.
For example, the part about “website optimization” — guess what, anonymous company? My current company hires a FIRM to do this for us. Do you know how much work it is to OPTIMIZE a website? There are people who SPECIALIZE in this and spend days trying to crack Google and Yahoo algorithms and as soon as they crack them, hey have to start all over again because they’ve all changed! And that’s just the tip of the iceburg when it comes to optimizing a website!
That alone is a full time job. How is this coordinator going to do all the graphic design, advertising, and PR for this company in addition? And what about web updates! I forgot about those!
My favorite part is the listing of required software knowlegde … the list includes – oh EVERY SINGLE MS OFFICE/GRAPHIC DESIGN/WEB/CLIENT DATABSE PROGRAM EVER CREATED. And not only that, but it’s required that you are PROFICIENT in all of them. And a “firm grasp” of PHP, CSS and JAVASCRIPT PREFERRED.
You know what? Based on this job description no one will ever be good enough for this lowly marketing coordinator position.
The best part … THE BEST PART about this job description is the pay. TWENTY EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS (to thirty five thousand dollars … but that depends on experience of course. And how the frig can you get experience when you are busting your ass trying to learn ever piece of software and how to read and code every web language out there?!?!?).
Twenty eight thousand dollars.
I’m sorry but that is a friggin joke. If this company is serious about this listing, then based on what is required of this job (A MID-LEVEL MARKETING COORDINATOR may I remind you) this job sould pay quadruple the listed pay.
I’m lucky enough to have a found a company that is realistic about what is expected of me. In fact, most times I think I go above and beyond what is expected of me when it comes to applying what I know with regards to software and web knowledge. But my company is also smart enough to hire outside firms to deal with overflow and big projects. Hell we even hire a company to help us brainstorm. WE HIRE PROFESSIONAL THINKERS. But you know what? We all do a better job at work because of it.
I still run into people at my company who have no idea what I do or how difficult it can be at times (just yesterday someone asked me to extract a CAD drawing and create this ridiculously elaborate floorplan template to blow up to 3 x 5 feet … in an hour. When I told them I didn’t have the CAD program to open the file they emailed me, they sent me a picture ….in a WORD DOCUMENT.) But I tell you, I’d choose dealing with that any day than dealing with the nitwit who placed that ad above.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
My job is to do optimization for websites and a simple 15 pages still takes a few weeks of research, site analysis, and then the eventual verbal wrestling with the IT department to get the changes implimented. And yes, that is why people hire us. Because it’s too time consuming and it is really a specialized form of marketing.
And 35,000? Where is the job? That would barely cover the classes for the laundry list of software tools…
I’m not outing the ignorant company*, but it’s about 35 minutes south of Boston… and that listing wasn’t on either of the job search websites I listed.
* I suffer from cautious blogger syndrome. ** So much so that I reazlied you could still find the company, so I found it better to switch the order/word choice of some of the stuff. Cautious blogger 4 lyfe.
Totally insane. If you had “a firm grasp of PHP, CSS and Javascript ” you could get at least 50k as a developer. Why would you take a pay cut for more work?
I am always on the look out for a new job. I feel intimidated about the wording of so many of these though. Plus the pay offered makes me think I am better off where I am. Too high expectations.
I wish you hadn’t said you’d changed the job posting. I was going to make fun of them for spelling external wrong. :)
I work for a web hosting company. There isn’t a single person — including our highly paid developers who develop web applications for a living — would most certainly not qualify for that job.
On the flip side, that description reeks of a company that hired a “technical” headhunter, which resulted in said headhunter just filling up a job description with every buzzword they could think of.
Throw in AJAX and maybe Web 2.0, and you’d have the perfect job description.
Honestly! The job looks exhausting, but bump the pay up, and it totally looks like something I would apply for. And oh yeah, maybe add a “senior” to the title ;)
It’s incredible what unrealistic expectations some people have. My guess is that the poster of this job is someone incredibly cheap or ignorant. To some people, getting a low price is *everything*. Does it occur to them that if you dumped all this crap on person they couldn’t begin to do a good job at *any* of the tasks? Does it occur to them that anyone actually claiming to have these skills but accepting such low pay probably isn’t very good? Duh-uh….
I think 4X on the pay is about right, too. Well, I’ve an idea they’re going to be waiting a Looong time. :)
i had the exact same frustrations while looking for a new job in DC. i’d been in development, off and on, for five years at that point, but most of the mid-level jobs that i was looking at were asking for a *ludicrous* amount of experience and skillsets.
the one kinda silver lining that i’ve found via talking with bosses who are on the hiring end of things – most of them don’t actually harbor the illusion that they’ll find someone that qualifed and willing to work for so little. one of my bosses actually said something like, “well, we’ll put 6-8 years of experience on there, and hopefully get someone with 4-5.”
such a ridiculous game.
WTF, if I was in an interview and somebody posted for 6-8 years and then said actually they’re hoping for 4-5. I’d say “I know you posted for 28-35k, I was hoping more for 60-80.”
HAHA…John I LOVE it!! (ps. I think when it comes to salary, you have to do stuff like that. They’re obviously not going to give you their top dollar right away. But there is a differnence between low-balling and insulting…
I’m so damn happy I don’t work in marketing ;)