Yesterday afternoon I was emailing back and forth for a bit with the most fabulous Erin(ire), and the topic of mothers, specifically CMB: Crazy Mother Behavior came up. Her mother, I’m sure a lovely woman, is every so lovingly helping Erin finish preparing for her upcoming wedding. She didn’t say anything specific, but I’m sure it’s a stress-free environment over in her corner of the world complete with candies and bunnies and all things fun and loving. [/sarcasm].
You see? I am not planning a wedding. I’m not engaged. I’m not even close. So what’s my mother’s excuse? (I told Erin I wasn’t going to write about my mom … oops).
Last night we were on the phone. She rang to say hello. That’s nice. I got an in depth report about what’s going on at work, how many coffees she had yesterday, and what she ate for dinner. Apparently there were leftovers. She was bringing them to work today in the small blue tupperware. Or maybe the medium green one would be better. Yes green.
This was the normal part. The Crazy Mother Behavior happens lately at the end of every conversation and usually takes no shorter than 10 minutes. It starts with “Ok Jen, I better go.”
“Ok Mom, bye love you.”
That should be the end of the conversation.
OH BUT IT’S NOT.
I then get “Have a good night.” “Put on a sweatshirt.” “Get some rest.” “Sleep well.” “Love you.” “You, enjoy the rest of your night.” “Don’t work so hard.” “I can hear you typing.” “You’re going to ruin your eyes on that computer all the time.” “I heard there was some kind of WORM in computers.” “Don’t open that horrible PORNOGRAPHY spam.” “Ok, well I’m tired.” “I love you.” “I should go.” “Is it warm in your apartment?” “Do you have enough oil?” “I love you.” “6:00 am is going to come early.” “Better get some rest.” “I love you.” “You want to come over for dinner sometime this week?” “Yawn.” “I’m tired.”
I love chatting with my mother, as does my sister, and we both do quite often. But this end of the conversation CMB is getting to the point of ridiculousness lately.
My sister and I can both tell when the other is on the phone, or trying to get off the phone with our mother because all of a sudden you’ll hear “MOM! OK. I LOVE YOU TOO. SERIOUSLY I HAVE TO GO. BYYYYYEEEEE.”
That cycle repeated at least 5 times.
Eventually I get off the phone and errupt into a fit of giggles only to be joined by my sister. It is now a bedtime ritual for the two of us to holler “I LOVE YOU OK? BYE I’M TIRED I LOVE YOU!! OK? I LOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!” back and forth to eachother before bed.
My mother is out of her mind and can drive me absolutely crazy, but someday I know I’ll look back and remember her FREAKING INSANE CONVERSATIONS fondly.
Hopefully. If I don’t strangle myself with the telephone cord first.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Um, are we related? Because I think we might have the same mother.
my mom does this too! She’s added a tangible element to the CMB in the form of socks, which only come out when I desperately need to do laundry and it’s my only choice left. My socks today have orange and pink horses that frolic on a background of flaming turquoise, orange and yellow. I don’t know where she finds these things.
My wife and I refer to those as “momversations”. Her mom is like that, but mine is not … yet.
Jenny I loved reading this one about your phone conversations with your mother. I always wondered how I sound on the phone with my boys. You’ve given me some insight and hopefully they will put up with me and love me as you love your mom.