No I will not, thank you.
So I’ve pretty much only been looking at apartment listings the past 4 days straight. Luckily for me, every once and a while I’ll hit a listing where the poster has one hell of a sense of humor. Or is just stupid. I can’t tell. Probably both.
Here are some sample lines I’ve found in my search*:
“One minute walk to a store.”
Great. And what store would that be?
Subject line:“HUGE luxury loft!!!!!!!!!!!! 1,900!!!!!!!!”
Inside the listing “cozy living space!” complete with a picture of what may or may not be a CLOSET.
“Bi-level apartment in the heart of Clam Point”
Ok I just giggled that there is a part of the city called CLAM POINT. Apparently it’s not too far from where I live now … how is it I’ve never heard of it. I’m pretty sure I would have remembered CLAM.
“$600 / 2br – Avail NOW!NEED WEEKEND DRINKING PARTNERS?BERKLEE KIDS NEED 2 ROOMATES!”
Are you kidding?! No. Really. Please go read the rest of this posting. It makes me want to take a shower. And get a tetanus shot.
One of best ones I’ve come across isn’t written in the listing, but rather a photograph:
Seriously. Look. The BEST part is that there are TWO photographs … one with, and one without. Just in case.
* Yes they are all on craigslist … go be entertained. Ok enough time off. I need to go find a place to live. And maybe eat something. And brush my hair.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I am telling you. You should check out Eastie. I have a big apartment and pay 850 (sans heat, but still). :)
im on ur crappr, sittin brokn hartd
I think you should reconsider the Berklee CL offering. I mean $780 and it comes furnished with someone else’s junk & funk….that is the deal of the century.
Here via Universal Hub because I relate to and sympathize with your apartment-seeking woes. After getting notice from my landlord in Eastie (note to Ullie: My place has been awesome, but I don’t think there’s anything decent in Eastie anymore for less than $1200 unless you know “someone”), I’ve just signed a lease for a great new place on Revere Beach. I saw all the same ads you did, I’m sure, and I assure you that many of them are bogus — especially the ones that sound too good to be true. The ones that sound horrifying are, regretfully, probably on the level. Are you willing to consider Malden or Medford? There are some better places there, I thought, especially if you avoid the Tufts neighborhood, which has some issues much like Allston does with craptastic slumlike dwellings. E-mail me if you want to compare notes on places (not) worth visiting, and good luck!