(I can’t believe after that blog title some of you are actually reading this.)
You know what’s awesome? And by awesome I mean so incredibly annoying you want to hurl your body off a cliff? Insomnia. Insomnia for no reason. Insomnia for no reason that has lasted for weeks on end (my best guess would be about 6-7 weeks).
I’ve probably mentioned my inability to have a normal night’s sleep in … oh every entry I’ve posted throughout NaBloPoMo so thank god for the textless Daily Photo which features no mention of my sleeplessness. HI NABLOPOMO-IANS, aren’t you glad there are only a handful of days left?!
You know what is the best part of insomnia? And of course by best you know I mean effing ridiculously worst part? Laying there in the taunting glow of my clock at 11:03, 12:34, 1:21, 2:54, 3:24, 4:16, 4:17, 4:18, holy mother of god it’s 6:23 and my alarm is going off in 20 minutes … you get the point. Welcome to my life as of late. Welcome to my morning. Right here. Right now.
You know what else RULES about insomnia? When you combine way too much sleeplessness with way too much tequila. You know what that equals? DO YOU?! It equals your friend coming up to you at a bar you are both at, having a two second conversation that NORMALLY would be – NORMAL, except combined with the aforementioned NO SLEEP and BOTTOMLESS GLASSES OF TEQUILA equals you crying (could I be any more of a stupid girl?). And her storming out. (And of course, as these things go, we are not actually mad at each other. In fact, I just got off the phone with her. For the second time today. Also she is probably one of the most amazing humans I know. Which makes the situation at least a little funny. To us at least. I’m sure the other bar patrons were all, “Um. STFU losers.”)
On a more hilarious note, the sleeplessness combined with tequila had me sneaking around the bar earlier in the night with a camera “hidden” in my hand, snapping “secret” photos of one of my friends who I haven’t seen or talked to in several years. Why was this funny? Because I was calling him Sasquatch. Picture that in your head. Really picture that. Now tell me you aren’t laughing. At me. Because, by all means, I truly deserve to be laughed AT.
(And just as a disclaimer, because we all know that my blog LOVES to get me in trouble because I often forget to blog the details of how things come to be: this person I was calling Sasquatch is not Sasquatch-like at all and is not the reason the joke started. Me standing there with a camera, with the flash off, stabilizing it on a table, hunched down, “sneaking” a shot of a person I haven’t seen in forever just to have a pic of him … THAT is the “Sasquatch” metaphor. NOT the person.)
In conclusion, the only thing worse than someone who complains day in and day out about not being able to sleep is someone who complains day in and day out about not being able to sleep and not DOING anything about it. (Sheepishly raises hand). I’m one of those people who hates having to take pills. Like one of those I’d rather take a nap than an Advil for a headache people (ANNOYING). Last night I tried some NyQuil because this is getting ridiculous. But you know what? Even though it says right on the box that it causes drowsiness and contains sedating antihistamines, those stupid pills made me even more restless and JITTERY.
I think if nothing else, the past few days have truly revealed the stubborn beast that is Jenny. I need to return to a normal functioning human being. I think that Sasquatch joke was just a foreshadowing of what I am destined to become. A comfy bed and over the counter cold medicines that MAY cause drowsiness clearly aren’t doing the trick.
Raises white flag. Starts waving.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Poor girl! I had a weird week of insomnia last week and I could NOT handle it. I can’t imagine 6-7 weeks of it!
Also, I cannot believe I missed Sasquatch. I want to see those pics. HA!
Oh honey…not being able to sleep sucks (and I’ve never even had to deal with it for THAT long)!! Go see a doc and get some nice rx that might help. :-)
You’re a trooper. I’d be a wreck if I were you. Speaking of wrecks, I broke down in a tequila-enduced fit on the way home that night due to the Sasquatch sighting. Ugh. Poor Tony.
Um good. Were you there for my fit? I CANT REMEMBER CAUSE I WAS A BLACKED OUT MESS.
Thank god I have understanding friends who are all like “Aint no thang.”
I’ve read somewhere that if you can’t sleep, to try putting your head at the opposite end of the bed. Everybody says it works, but I haven’t tried it yet.
That sounds crazy. But I already am crazy. I’m doing it tonight. That and pills.
aw i cried too but not out of my eyes. out of my face though. if you know what i mean
:-P
Just to follow up, did you get your thyroid checked? Lack of sleep is another issue with thyroid problems as well. Just checking! Hope you had a good Thanksgiving!
Do you exercise?
If you haven’t been, go kick your ass with cardio at the gym or outside. It’ll put you out like a light at 10ish.
And no excuses, since your up all night anyways!
I did. I checked out 100% healthy (and then got a bunch of shots to keep me that way haha. Good LORD does the flu shot hurt. She jabbed it right in there.)
I do but I’ve been on the same routine for way too long now. It’d probably help to kick it up a little.
Long time insomniac here. I took Ambien for two weeks and “restarted” myself. I worked out at least a half hour a day to expel energy. Another huge thing is not using the computer past 9:30 *gasp*, I also read every night. And stop over thinking.
I was all “uh-huh. yes. totally!” until the last point. The over thinking. I think that is and always will be my downfall. haha.
I’ve got some help tonight. :)
That was my biggest hurdle. I don’t think I slept 2002-2006. When I started to see myself as Angela from The office, I knew the jig was up and something had to be done.
Good luck!