But if I were to believe, now would be the time. My friend Nicole told me she had a particularly shitty day but it turned around when she read our horoscope (we’re both Capricorns). I was like “Yeah whatever. Horoscope, schmoriscope.” But she sent it along and I started skimming. And then I went back the beginning and read it.

A sampling:

You are on the cusp of the very best period of your life, when the whole world is about to open up for you… dear Capricorn! Jupiter, the planet of luck and happiness, will enter Capricorn on December 18 for a year’s stay, a privilege you’ve not had since 1996.

On so many levels you are due for exciting growth, dear Capricorn. A year from now you will look back at where you stood at this time and be astounded by the growth and successes you will achieve on both a personal and professional level. You won’t want to return to your old way of life because it will seem too small and unsophisticated by comparison. You will travel far and wide in the coming year too, and you will learn from places you go and people you meet. You are walking over the threshold of the best year of your life. Are you excited yet? You should be!

Normally my horoscope goes a little something like “You will die unhappy and ugly, alone and with no money, you stubborn goat.”

Uh, thanks.

So what a nice change of horoscopical pace (is that a word?). I’m sure you all care about my horoscope in detail .. so feel to read the full version in all of it’s awesomeness here.

Oh you’re not a Capricorn or care about my horoscope? Go read yours. A little positive energy going into the weekend.

Not into horoscopes (yeah me either really)? Check out this R. Kelly You Tube video “Real Talk Behind The Scenes”. This is completely amazing and not even a little safe for work. If you get fired for watching this, it is so not my fault.