Sarah and I headed out for an after work cocktail at a new restaurant (who’s website, quite frankly sucks right now). What we thought would be a shared antipasto alongside one gin martini with extra olives (Sarah) and one Patron silver with club soda and a lime (me) turned into a shared antipasto with at least 4 of the aforementioned drinks.
We dished some gossip, talked some shit (c’mon, we’ve been friends since the 6th grade. We’ve got like two DECADES of gossip/shit talking to go around.) But the night picked up when our new friend Gay Russell (who is not actually gay, but rather married with 4 children – figure that one out) chimed in. Most of the topics I can’t post here (at least when I’m pretending that I’m an upstanding citizen ……. read: MY DAD FREQUENTS THIS SITE), but what made me laugh the most was when Russell asked “our types”.
Sarah of course answered “My boyfriend” where as I half-heartedly grunted out a non-committal “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..?”
But Sarah stepped right up to the plate. She said “You want to know the three ‘must-haves’ when it comes to Jenny?”
Uh, even my ears perked up on that one. This HAD to be good.
Defiantly, up go Sarah’s first three fingers, “Number one ….”
You didn’t think I’d put them all out here, did you?
Let’s put it this way, by the time she was done, I was ready to give her a stack of business cards and permission to book me as many dates as she could. Damn. The girl knows more about me than I know, or even try to know, about myself. To the point where Gay Russell said “I have the man for you…” and proceeded to describe the marketable qualities of said man. Before I could answer what I thought, Sarah put up her hand and said “Uh, no. I don’t see Jenny with him. Sorry.”
Clearly, as my dating history suggests, I don’t know best. Up until last night, I just didn’t realize that Sarah DOES.
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Last night was hilarious, prostitutes and all!
Um…how are the rest of us supposed to set you up with randoms if we don’t have a shopping list?!?!?!
haha I will definitely give YOU my shopping list. But not the creepy stalkers on my blog (another story for another day – HA.)
But creepy stalkers know best! After all, they STALK YOU, right?
It’s great that Sarah knows what’s up. It’s always awesome to have a friend who has your back like that. Also, this story is really funny.
Sarah definitely needs to play “Matchmaker” or, at the very least, pre-screen potential dates. Hey – it makes it easier in the long run, no?
I am the worst matchmaker ever, I freely admit it. I am responsible for the fact that most of my girlfriends dated gay men in high school. But that just means we all found out early that gay boyfriends = the best boyfriends.
I don’t mean to brag, but I am an outstanding matchmaker…my track record is very good. There are three different engaged couples that I set up, and anyother set that I just introduced a month ago that are totally in luuuuuuuv…