As my lack of decent blog posts may suggest, I’ve kind of hit a slump over here in AllEyesOnJenny land. It’s really the oddest thing: I’m not unhappy in any aspect of my life. In fact, for the first time in a long time everything is going RIGHT. Maybe it’s the bitter East Coaster in me, or the zany creative in me, or the wall I’ve seen so many of my older friends hit at 27 – but, no matter how great things are right now, there’s definitely something lacking. And for the past few months I’ve been trying to pin point what causing the slump – if it’s one thing or just a little bit of everything.
I’m in the works of changing stuff – trying to formulate a plan of some sort. I’ve vacillated between just making minute changes all the way up to (in the most cliched way) picking up the snow globe and shaking the god damn hell out of it. It’s been a journey of figuring it out – mostly because, when it comes down to it, nothing is wrong! I guess it was more of identifying what’s become a bore, a routine, too easy and finding a way to make things challenging again.
Which leads me to my question of the day: What do you do when some (or all) parts of your life become stagnant? Your job? Your living situation? Your social habits? Are there small changes you make (feng shui-ing your apartment?) or do you wipe the slate clean and start over (in a new city, country, continent?)?
Enlighten me oh wise readers.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Drink heavily.
I just turned 28 and I am actually really glad to read this post because I’ve been feeling the same way for awhile! I’m glad it’s not just me. What is this late twenties phenomenon? I never had my “quarter-life crisis” at 25, maybe this is it? I have no idea what to do to change it up. I hope some of your other readers have something to share!
It’s really weird, right? Everything in my 20s up to now has been WORK to get (degree, job, a great apartment), and now it seems like I’m coasting … and for some reason that really IRKS me.
Completely redo my bedroom. Or move. Or get involved in more volunteering work. And if all that fails, go on a vacation with my best friend and vow to have adventures while there.
Okay “waaaaaay back” in those late teen, 20′s something days I would “drink heavily.” I realized that put a damper on my college education which (at that time) lasted 6 weeks. I wasn’t ready for a mid-term on psychology. I was prepared for anything Shlitz (I’m dating myself) at that time. I ended up in the Corps and landed on a rock in the far east known as Okinawa. After being there and at the top of Mt. Fuji for awhile, I realized that I was prepared to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Problem is I got stuck again in this Snow Globe. Please stop shaking it so hard. It hurts. You said this would be a happy snow globe!
YOU PINNED THE TAIL ON MY NECK. I have no chair and a pin in my neck. :(
have a baby.
TAKE LUCK! I need a cherry snowcone!
Or Grape! They’re both favorites. But grape is a little more FAVORITE than cherry.
BOB O. …. uhhh… no way. hahah.
Ah yeah…bob-o…no way! I’m going out back and bark it up a little for no good reason.
I’d say if you can swing it take an extended vacation, like a cross country road trip or a month in China or something you would never normally do. That way either your normal life looks great when you get back, you decide you really need a major change like you want to live in your car for good or move to China permanently, or at least you have those memories to carry you for another boring year or two.
Watch the Celtics and Red Sox. You should start to feel like you did when you were 6 years old when they were winning everything.
I usually take a vacation with some friends. I broke up with my live in boyfriend about 3 years ago and went to South Beach with a friend of mine. We went to great restaurants, the beach, and some great clubs and had an amazing time! Things with my boyfriend now are getting kind of distant so now I want to go to Vegas or something with some friends to add some life back into my life :)
I haven’t got a clue. I just turned 28 and I’ve moved and changed jobs 3 times in the last 3 years and I hated them all. I love my apartment and my boyfriend to death but my career is in the toilet. Unfortunately it doesn’t ever seem like you get all 3 of the “big 3″ i.e. love, home, and work.
If you’re looking for something tangible…maybe take a class (although you’re so crafty fab you should probably teach the class) or take a mini-break. Sometimes getting out of the city, even for a few days makes me feel like my head is on straighter.
what i’ve learned is that going far away from your current situation and life doesn’t mean that you leave it all behind. that’s my main reason for not suggesting giant moves, particularly when it’s not to a place that you are head over heels in love with.
but i definitely pack up and get the hell outta dodge when i’m feeling stagnant or fenced in – a weekend alone in a different city fending for yourself is the best, best therapy and catharsis. go on travelocity and find a last-minute deal on air and hotel, preferably one with a spa, and book it! have a cocktail on your flight, order in room service and get a massage. it doesn’t have to cost a lot and you really get a recharge. travel has always been the best cure for me… good luck!
Usually I change my hair. Chop it off, decide to grow it out, maybe do some color or highlights. If I’m feeling socially stagnant, I’ll try and make an effort to hang out with different groups of friends that I don’t see all that often.
Of course, the last time I felt stagnant, I wound up getting a new boyfriend, a new job, and moving clear across the country. It was all a good change, but perhaps a bit drastic for most people. (And not something I’d do again… now it’s back to hair and socializing to liven things up.)
Shoes!
You can walk into the same office every morning and it’s blah. Do it with new shoes and ooooh, what a morning!
Shoes are the answer!
But seriously, I remember a few years ago looking at my life and thinking “I’m so happy but it all feels so stale!”
Eventually I moved to Hawaii. I didn’t realize I was planning for a big move, it just sort of happened. I think some of those slower times in life lead you to the more exciting ones. Hang with it, soak up the staleness and let life naturally evolve.
For me, traveling to a really foreign place helps get me out of a slump. Which is why I’ve been to Kabul. I mean, who goes to Kabul on vacation?
I tried relocating and moved back to Boston both times. It’s not helpful to uproot yourself and move, and your problems come with you where ever you go. So that’s not the answer.
Making new friends, stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something brand new (and challenging) helps. Take a class, volunteer, join a support group, do something that will get you to meet new and different types of people.
I tend to clean. A lot. For some reason reorganizing and tidying my physical space makes me feel as if it translates to my figurative and emotional space.
I honestly feel like I NEED to travel in the upcoming year more than I’ve ever felt I wanted to travel. I really think Chris and I need to get lost for awhile, but it’s hard to pinpoint exactly why. Or where we should even go.
And I so hear you on the coasting when it comes to my job. I’m so annoyed with myself right now. I’m also annoyed that I’m doing 3x as much work as my position allows for, and yet I haven’t even hinted at a raise. Yet.
I’ve been in a major slump for the past couple of years, probably because I’m in the 5th year of grad school, and it gets quite tedious and depressing in the final stages.
What keeps me going is knowing that when I’m finally done, in a year or so, I’m going to shake things up, big time. New job, new project, new location (likely Europe), new start.
I’ve always been an advocate of making substatial changes in one’s life. Move to California, quit your job, travel around the world, whatever your fancy. The way I see is that you might as well try something new, and if things don’t work out, you can always move back to Boston.
I’m 30, and single, and yeah, a lot of the time it sucks, but there is one significant benefit. Complete freedom, in that my choices don’t affect anyone else. I can move to Paris, without having to worry about my husband’s career, and since no one else relies on me financially, it’s okay to choose a more satisfying, lower paying job in lieu of a good, stable salary. This sort of flexibility doesn’t last forever, so might as well take advantage while you can.
That being said, drastic change and the broke life aren’t for everyone, so you could always take a 2-3 week vacation somewhere exotic to shake things up a bit.
uhm, clearly, a trip to europe! DUH!