Archive for November, 2008

I was a nerd. I had really bad hair (no photos exist of my accidental high school mullet) and braces. The majority of my clothing was second hand little boys t-shirts from the thrift store. I thought that was AWESOME (my mother did NOT). I actually enjoyed gym class. And my Humanities classes (but more for the company than the classes themselves). Somehow I never had detention, but I skipped classes/school all the time. I was in band and on tech crew for the Theatre Guild. I looked like this:

Top left and too cool to look at the camera. Also wearing all black so I could carry out my backstage duties. Of course.

I used to work at a toy store during the holidays. I am also wearing a JNCO shirt and a soda can tab around my neck here. Not pictured? My giant pants.

And finally, what blog entry would be complete without my horrifying yearbook photo…..

Seriously? YIKES.

Because I’m so nice, I plan on embarrassing the rest of my classmates in the same fashion tomorrow night:

(Click on that photo to see all the notes of who’s who, including prom queen, class president, and valedictorian – clearly I was none of those things.)

So all the details have been mapped out:

Nametags have been made:

It’s time, bitches.

Today I am celebrating by eating a lot of food at my mom’s and then a lot of dessert at my dad’s. And for once, so. not. working.

This year I am so crazy thankful. Nothing can make what’s really important so absolutely crystal clear like an intense year of health ups and downs of a close friend. Watching everyone come together like we all have over the past few months makes me know I’m a pretty lucky girl. I am lucky to have a wonderful family who I am very close to, see constantly and who care about my friends just as much as I do. I’m lucky to have an amazing close knit group of friends who know how to be there for people when things are great, but even more so when it’s hard and when it sucks. I’m also lucky that they know when to make me laugh and when to bitchslap some sense into me!

I know the whole “I’m thankful for friends and family” route is overdone and cheesy as hell, but that’s all I got and I couldn’t be happier about it or any of them.

Have a good one!

Part I of this HORRIBLE story is here.

Saturday morning I was ready to make the 30 minute trek to the FedEx facility. In preparation I googled the address and then called the FedEx 1800 number to confirm that that was in fact where the facility I needed to be at was.

I picked up my mom for the drive and the two of us picked up some giant coffees and hit the highway. Just as my directions had promised, 30 minutes later we pulled into the facility.

WHICH IS CLOSED ON WEEKENDS.

You think when I told the woman “OH HAI I AM GOING TO THIS FACILITY TODAY. CAN YOU CONFIRM THE ADDRESS FOR ME?” she would have mentioned “Oh BEE TEE DUBS, that place isn’t OPEN today.”

So I call up FedEx. AGAIN. I calmly explained the situation (for the THIRD TIME), starting from the beginning and my inability to change the package delivery time or the FedEx facility pick up location, not to mention the fact that I had to ruin my friend Danielle’s surprise gift delivery. And oh yeah, I just drove an hour back and forth FOR NOTHING.

I guess I didn’t realize how calm I was on the phone, because when I was done explaining Chris, my FedEx rep, said “Jenny, this story is frustrating and ridiculous — thank you for not yelling at me.”

What an AWFUL job. Can you imagine taking the time to thank people for not yelling at you?

Well Chris told me I couldn’t pick up the package that day (obviously), but I could have Danielle call and try to change the delivery address. Which I did.

So now poor Danielle had to get involved and call. When she told the whole story to a MANAGER, she got the same “OMG WTF LOL” reaction from her rep. But then the rep told her that because the package had already attempted to be delivered three times she may not be able to change the address.

Are there flames on the side of your face? Breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breath… (If you don’t get that reference I will punch you.)

Finally this FedEx manager took pity on Danielle and changed the delivery address.

Yesterday things took a turn for the worst. I don’t remember what happened (I was too busy spitting flames and putting a hex on the FedEx website), but the FedEx people called Danielle, gave her bad news about the package to the point where she told them to forget it, she would just pick the package up that night.

When she told me that, I flipped. SHE HAD ALREADY PAID FOR SHIPPING. She was not going to PICK IT UP FOR ME.

So now I called FedEx and politely refused to speak to a regular rep, and eventually demanded to speak to a manager. I told this manager the whole story (for the FOURTH TIME). And then I told her that I know it’s not their policy, but they HAVE to let me change the address. I told her to look at the records and multiple requests attached to that tracking number – this had been going on for a week. MY SURPRISE WAS RUINED. DANIELLE’S FUN GIFT GIVING EXPERIENCE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HELL ON EARTH. I HAD TO DRIVE A LOT. FOR NOTHING. AND I HATE DRIVING.

Surprisingly she easily agreed, changed the address, told me she was sorry and then we parted ways.

Sounds like everything is SWELL.

Except Danielle just IMed me to tell me that my package was shipped to RHODE ISLAND. And the final destination is still marked as my apartment’s address. Where I WILL NOT BE HOME TO SIGN FOR IT. Again.

Seriously FedEx, I have not raised my voice at you, I have not sworn at you, I have been disgustingly PLEASANT to every person I’ve talked to on the phone even at my most frustrated (Seriously. It’s on tape. I got the “this may be recorded” memo every time I called). But that was the first week. In week two of this hell, I get to tell you that this is fucked up. Your company? Is fucked up. Pardon my French.

Blog readers? If you have a choice on how to ship a package, STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM FEDEX as you can.

Is roughly how long I’ve known Danielle (22 years) and Sarah (17 years). After 20 years, we still see each other several times a week and I’d say the videos below are a pretty good representation of the time we spend together. (Falcour, Danielle’s dog, is really the star of these.)

(Note: I just realized that the fact that I scream about puking (a joke of our from the mid 90s) and my level of psychedness about pickles might suggest something. That could not be any less true. Haha. Just want to clear that up. I just love a pickle with my grilled cheese.)

Do you like videos? Want more? (Especially if I don’t use my super high Falcour voice in any more? And yes I know it’s dark – we made them for fun without the intent to actually post them. In the future I can properly light them.) Yay or nay?

I was recently telling someone about that state of my office. The walls are …. gray..ish blue? The carpet is gray. Gray walls? Gray carpets? I work in a cement block. And no one voluntarily spends 8 hours in a cement block unless they’re forced. Do you know who is forced to spend all their time in cement blocks? PRISONERS. What kind of message is that sending US here in my office?!

And, to make matters worse, we’re all boxed into sad excuses for cubes. My coworker Amber (who you all may remember from Blogtoberfest) says it best:

“I remember first seeing my workspace/cubicle. I knew it was going to be a disaster and I literally cried! It’s not really a cubicle, it’s more like an afterthought, made up of a wall on one side and a bookcase to create the other wall.”

I posted that photo a couple of days ago of what our cubes look like, Amber’s in particular and do you know what? Boston.com took pity and chose Amber’s cube as one of the 9 finalists in an office makeover contest.

PLEASE VOTE FOR AMBER and bring a tiny ray of light into our office? Vote Amber (#6) right here!

(More pics of the office here, here and here.)

Ps. Oh HAI people from the executive offices of my company who made it to my blog. So glad you could join me. Don’t fire me. K? Thnx.