I’ve decided that I am going to design a giant sign to post at the entrance of my office. It will be not unlike the signs you see at amusement parks that enforce “You must be this tall to ride this ride”. Except mine will say “You must be this healthy to enter this office.”
I am calling this campaign “Don’t be a Hero”. Subtitle: “You have 10 sick days for a reason, how about we use some of ‘em, eh?”
I will come up with a suggested list of when to stay home. These will include but will not be limited to “If you sound like you have tuberculosis, get the hell out of here.” “Whooping cough doesn’t look good on me. So how about you GET OUT OF MY FACE.”, “You know what sucks? The flu. And also you. For having it. AND SPREADING IT AROUND THE OFFICE.”, or “Bury your face in a napkin all you like, I can hear your nasty mucus-y cough from here. IF I WERE YOUR BOSS I WOULD FIRE YOU. Reason for termination: public displays of foulness.”
Seriously though, not to toot my own horn or anything, but this idea is one of my best.
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Please do this. And take a picture.
Oh, that so would not fly where I work. But that’s because we have this nifty new sick leave policy. We have paid sick time, but if we use it? We’re penalized. Think of demerits back in school. Use a sick day, get a point. Accrue a certain amount of points and get a verbal warming. A few more and you’re written up. Accumulate a few more and you’re fired. And did I mention that it doesn’t matter if you have a doctor’s note or not? Nope. You still get the points UNLESS you have FMLA. And if you don’t have FMLA but you get the flu and miss a few days of work, you have to take a form for something called “intermittent FMLA” to your doctor and have him fill it out. In other words, our HR dept. is bound and determined to piss off and inconvenience as many people as possible.
And the people who were abusing the sick time in the first place? Yeah, well most of them conned their physicians into filling out the FMLA paperwork, so when they call in “sick” yet again, all they have to do is say “FMLA” and they’re untouchable.
It’s brilliant. In the meantime, those of us who would have taken a day off to prevent spreading it around are forced to come into work feeling like crap.
I’m sorry… was that a rant? I believe it was. :)
I personally am a huge fan of doing the sick “pop in” if I am out for more than a day. Just to show people that I am FOR REAL sick and not just putzing around at home.
At the sneaker factory I call a job, we have a co-worker, let’s call her “Grandma McUseless” (because everyone else does) who CONSTANTLY comes around snorfling and whuffling and snotulating, and talking about how sick she is…for sympathy. Nobody wants to talk to her. Ever. Because all she ever wants to talk about are her show dogs. And the diseases she has. She sucks.
when next we meet, i’m going to cough on you.