So a few weeks ago I rejoined Match.com. There’s only so many times you can hear “stop hanging out at gay bars!” (which, ask any of my gays, I just don’t do anymore), or “why are are you still single?” before you want to throw your body off the Zakim Bridge.
So I rejoined …. which means I signed up, made a half assed attempt at making a profile, uploaded a pic and kind of left it at that. Truth be told, I’ve been so busy I haven’t had much time to do much as sit down and read a book, much less pour any free time into an online dating site.
Cut to this morning. When I finally log in to poke around a bit. I notice I have a couple of emails. Both from the same person. The first is from Monday. It’s a totally normal “Hey your profile looked interesting, check out mine and if you’re interested, shoot me an email” type message.
Then comes the second one. Which came in July 16 at 1:16 am. I honestly can not even copy and paste it because I know you won’t believe it unless you see it, so I DOWNLOADED the Match.com app and took a screen shot just so you CAN see. And since I’m such a beast, I didn’t even blur out this guy’s user name.
So, yeah. Thanks Stefanedberg135 for such a warm welcome back to Match.com! Clearly the main problem I had with online dating still exists. I’m glad I didn’t waste my money and only signed up for a couple of months.
Soooo ….. are there any normal, nice, straight, single guys out there? Is this thing on? Hello? *echo echo echo* Someone prove me wrong?
Love always,
Big Forehead aka Horse Teeth*
* In case you were wondering, this is the picture I have up by the way.
UPDATE!!!! This guy literally copies and pastes! He did the same thing to another girl YESTERDAY!! Thanks for the find Sarah!!
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
So, did you e-mail him?
He blocked me! For rizzle.
Holy CRAZYTOWN! What a pyscho!
Although thanks for posting you bad dating luck to provide entertainment for the rest of us :)
Gosh I can’t see anything in that photo but your giant teeth! WTF? I wonder if that’s like his copy/paste response for everyone who doesn’t email him back like right away. No wonder HE is still single.
What? He said ‘sorry’! You can’t see how charming that is? Idiot.
I’ve got a profile on there but dont pay $ so I get emails but cant write back… hmm, I wonder how many ridic girls are on there writing crap like that?
I think your new match.com profile headline should be “Stefan Edberg fans need not apply”. You wont be missing anyone worth dating i promise.
For what its worth, good teeth are the 2nd most underrated physical feature for a girl
y’know, i would think it’d be the homos that’d be catty about not responding to those e-mails. but i ignore e-mails all the time and have never gotten negative backlash.
then again, i don’t have monstrous horse teeth.
(p.s. – don’t these sites have a “last logged in” feature??)
Clearly, you should be looking for more of a Boris Becker type.
@josh – there is a last logged in feature. But the problem is, I never checked any emails … but did log in to be like “Oh I guess I should put something up on my profile…..” and then got distracted by something more important. So I don’t know the last time I did log in … but I’m sure it was like “Within the last 72 hours” or “within the last week” or whatever it says.
pobrecita…
How the hell does this stuff happen to you? I’m not sure which is more noticible, your giant teeth, or the extra large forehead.
It baffles me that people like him exist in the world.
Wow, he’s a special one, that’s for sure. I believe this is what we call, “dodging a bullet.” Also: this is why I hate dating.
Well he better block me because if I track him down (which you know I can do very easily), I will kick his ass!
Wow, how did he know about the horse teeth since you have your mouth shut? JK.
What an ass! Unbelievable.
“This dude needs to go….Securitay!”
YES!!! I got a complicated order!
oh sweet jesus, that is hilarious and sort of frightening and sad all at the same time!
what a moron he is. and what a great photo you have up there!
as someone who actually DOES have a large forehead, i never really realised that that would be a problem in the dating world, haha!
best of luck in the online dating world, although i think you need it a lot less than that idiot.
I realize this is going to sound ridiculous, but I met my BF on eHarmony.com. I hate to admit it because I loathe the commercials, but it really, really works. We’re planning a wedding, having kids, and I can spend every moment of every day with him… even after a year.
I love how he signed it “idiot”
What a tool. Also, I am directing most of my family members to this post the next time they ask, “No boyfriend? You should try online dating!”
OMG wtf?!?!?!?! I CANT BELIEVE HE DID THE SAME THING TO YOU!!! i knew i didn’t have horse teeth or a big forehead!
his reply just made me speechless.
Aaaahhh online dating is so ridiculous, I know but don’t let that fool dissuade you from it. He sounds psycho!
I’ve done the online dating thing for two years and it definitely showed me what I do and don’t like in a guy. I finally hit a bit of luck and have been dating a nice, normal guy for the last 3 months. Did you try Okcupid? It’s free at least. There’s also Plentyoffish but it’s really bare and I got more weirdo’s than non-weirdo’s on that site. The problem with free is there’s more BS to sift through :-/
That is just ridiculous. What is wrong with people?! You should report him. Obviously he’s just there to be a total nuisance/troll. Keep your chin up! Take it from me: online dating can absolutely workout. But just like in real life you unfortunately have to meet a lot of tools before Prince Charming comes along.
Wow, his mama must be very proud of his small penis.
Wow, that same guy did the same thing to me, except he said that I “looked like a bit of a fat ass” and didn’t put the part in about blocking the e-mail. What an asshole!
By the way, I did flag him, and I think he got kicked off, probably because he made a regular habit of this.