But unfortunately I can’t follow the story or DO ANY WORK because the MacBook Pro I bought only a year and a half ago has been giving me so many problems, I CAN’T DO ANYTHING.

I am literally going crazy.

I have been a very loyal Apple customer since the early 00s when I bought my first PowerBook. That computer was a workhorse and worked FLAWLESSLY from the day I bought it until the day it didn’t – FIVE YEARS LATER.

No really. 2003-2008 without a single problem? You think I recommended and talked friends into getting their own Macs? YOU BETCHA. I know that my RAVE reviews have been directly responsible for my sisters MacBook, my roommate Andrew’s MacBook AND iPhone, my friend Peter’s MacBook, my friend Matt’s iPhone, my friend Danielle’s iPhone …. I could go on and on.

I am so obsessed with Apple as a company, I photographed the Boylston Street store opening (this blog post was linked to all over the place). My photos have appeared on several Mac/Apple blogs including my coverage of the release of the iPhone 3G on MacDailyNews. I have written and posted Apple product tutorials (like this iPhone screenshot tutorial).

I own (or have owned) a 15″ PowerBook G4, a 15″ MacBook Pro, an iPhone 3G, an iPod 30G classic, an iPod 30G video, an iPod shuffle, Apple In-Ear Earbuds with Mic and Remote, Apple Magic Mouse … do I need to go on?

I don’t think I can make myself any clearer — I LOVE THIS STUFF (seriously, that link? A picture of me KISSING my iPhone.).

That is until I’ve been dealing with the HEARTACHE that is my MacBook Pro. Yes the one I bought a year and a half ago.

I have had problems with Apple products before. (Like the time my original iPhone earbuds kept shocking the HELL out of me??) But not like this.

Six MONTHS after I bought it, it spent FOUR DAYS getting repaired. Four days out of my hands. Four days getting the LCD replaced. YES THE LCD. MEANING THE ENTIRE TOP HALF OF MY COMPUTER. FROM THE HINGE UP.

ONE YEAR after I brought it, I was back with more issues. In fact, over the course of last summer? I was at the Genius Bar THREE TIMES. Some small issues were taken care of, other times they couldn’t figure out what was wrong and suggested SOFTWARE UPDATES. Really? REALLY?!?! Then there is the issue with the undocumented replacement of a video card. No record. A part was ordered, I dropped it off for repair and there is no record of this ANYWHERE. AWESOME.

The fact is, I have had my computer, the piece of equipment so NECESSARY for my work, out of my hands for 8 DAYS since I purchased it at the end of June 2008. EIGHT DAYS.

And now the latest number of issues. And where the real heartache begins … (I KNOW CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!)

My keyboard and trackpad just STOP WORKING. Just stop. For no reason. Press on keys? NOTHING. Click the trackpad? NOTHING. The only way to get them working again is to SHUT DOWN MY COMPUTER.

Do you know what shutting down my computer means? LOSING ALL OF MY WORK. It doesn’t matter how many times I save, I can’t possibly save everything I had been working on. And worst of all I can’t predict WHEN it’s going to freeze up.

This started about 3 months ago, maybe a little longer than that. At first would happen 2-3 times a month. MAYBE. The problem has gotten MUCH MUCH worse.

This past Friday? MY COMPUTER FROZE UP LIKE THIS 14 TIMES. FOURTEEN. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. YES I COUNTED.

You know what I got done that day? NOTHING. Because A) I lost everything. B) I spent so much time rebooting my computer I couldn’t possibly complete anything anyway.

It’s frozen at least that many times since.

Also? My screen LOVES TO GO BLACK. Again. FOR NO REASON. Sometimes there is weird pixelization or a clump of lines that show up. I can’t predict when any of this is going to happen. IT JUST DOES. And the only way to get it back? SHUT DOWN. Which means LOSING MORE WORK. AND WASTING MORE TIME.

I’ve Googled and guess what? Both of my problems are well documented hardware defects of my particular model* (I’ve posted link proof at the bottom of this entry). But guess what else? Because they’re random – I CAN’T REPLICATE THE ISSUE. So I look like a BIG OLE CRAZY PERSON when I try to get this piece of junk repaired.

I’ve called Apple. Actually scratch that, I made my good friend call for me because I am SO ANGRY I can’t possibly be civil at this point, but I do NOT want to take my anger out on Customer Service.

My friend and I spoke with some very nice, very apologetic Apple reps. I do appreciate their concern. I DO. I appreciate them taking the time (and trust me, I was on the phone for QUITE SOME TIME this weekend) to talk to me and figure out the best course of action.

But do you know what they want me to do? Ship my computer out to them. To be looked at. For at least a week.

There are so many problems with this “solution” I can’t even deal.

First of all my laptop is a BUSINESS CRITICAL MACHINE. I use it EVERYDAY. Like literally EVERY SINGLE DAY. I can not possibly work without it. It IS my business. I take it to work with me every morning and I take it home every night. I take it on business trips (two of which I have coming up in the next few weeks). I purchased this computer THE SAME DAY my PowerBook died. I literally couldn’t go ONE day without a laptop. And when it came to what machine I wanted, I didn’t even have to think about it. I knew I wanted another Apple. I just should have specified I want one that WORKS.

The other problem with this “solution” is one that I’ve pointed out several times in this entry – the problem is COMPLETELY RANDOM. I couldn’t replicate it even if I tried (and trust me I HAVE tried). Some days the thing works, other days, like last Friday, I can’t go 5 minutes without the thing crashing. If I send it out FOR A WEEK and the problem doesn’t surface for the folks at Apple – then what? I take it home again with NO solution?

I am at my WITS END. I really have no idea what to do at this point. The next vacation I have planned is the last week of March. That is LITERALLY the only time I have to ship this thing out if that’s what it comes to — but the end of March? IS STILL TWO MONTHS AWAY.

As a very well documented, very LOYAL Apple customer – can ANY of you think of ANYTHING I can possibly do? Does anyone have a contact ANYWHERE that I can sit down and discuss this with?

I need a laptop and I WANT A MAC – do not get me wrong, this situation hasn’t soured me on Apple products …. yet. I just need a little help and some understanding regarding a product that I shelled out $2,500 plus Apple Care a mere 18 MONTHS AGO.

Any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions? Please? HELP and comment below. (A few people have jumped in the conversation on Twitter. Check that out here: http://search.twitter.com/search?q=alleyesonjenny)

For more information about the issues I’m experiencing and to see what others are saying, check out these articles that I found while doing hours of extensive research:

The Curious Case of the Missing MacBook Pro Keyboard and Trackpad
http://theappleblog.com/2009/04/06/the-curious-case-of-the-missing-macbook-pro-keyboard-and-trackpad/

Topic : Unresponsive Keyboard and Trackpad problem FIXED/RESOLVED
http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=1365569&start=0&tstart=0

So are all mbp owners with the 8600m GT cards screwed?!?
http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=515067

MacBook Pro: Distorted video or no video issues
http://support.apple.com/kb/TS2377

All Nvidia G84 and G86s are bad
http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/1028703/nvidia-g84-g86-bad

I have a feeling that this guy I’ve been dating recently is in for more than he bargained for though ….

Me to Boy I am Dating (BIAD): Oh god, I’m a clumsy hot mess of a human.

BIAD: Sure you are.

Me: No really. Last spring I was walking with my old roommate Matt, tripped on something on the sidewalk and slammed face first into a restaurant window where I scared the hell out of two people sitting at that table. Matt, instead of helping me, just ran away laughing.

BIAD: Hahaha well you tripped on something. So that’s not really your fault.

Me: Uhhh… the very next day I was with him again and walked into a metal flower box. Without tripping on anything. I just slammed head first into the thing.

BIAD: I’m sure you’re not that bad. You are exaggerating.

Me: NEVER! You just wait until I destroy your life!

BIAD: Hahah ok.

(5 minutes later and there we are playing wii Tennis….)

Me: POW! BAM! Look! I am sooooo kicking your …..

SLAM. SPLASH. CRASH.

And that’s when we realized that I backhanded a nearly full bottle red wine. All over his brand new couch. Rug. Walls. Floor. And some laundry.

Me: UGH. SEE?!?!!? I told you. My life is garbage.

Oh look at that. Still works. I guess I ….. forgot how to use this?

Whatever. I have no excuse. I just didn’t feel like blogging for a bit. But here I am! Triumphant return!

Noteable events/observations from the past several weeks of disappearance:

1) I went to Dallas. Yup. Not really voluntarily. I was there for PCMA 2010. Sorry Dallas readers, but I did not have the best time in your city. The conference was great. But a) I got sick. b) the only food available to me for several days was either covered in, dipped in, or prepared with lard, butter, cheese or ranch dressing. I ordered a salad my first day – just your typical mixed greens with chicken. It came served on a pizza. SERVED ON A PIZZA. Like a full PIZZA. By the end of the conference, I was begging bartenders for their bar fruit (yeah I stole an orange. SO WHAT.) I’m sure Dallas is a lovely city – out of the convention circuit.

2) I recently discovered that every time I try to type “things” on my iPhone, it automatically changes it to “thugs”. I don’t know how many times I’ve substituted “thugs” for “things” to friends, family, clients – but I kind of think that’s awesome.

3) I only discovered the above because post-Dallas my cold continued and I was pretty much banished to the couch and in and out of sleep for the next 5 days, iPhone in hand. I attempted to go out for my friend Grace’s birthday party on Saturday night and nearly fell asleep at the bar. Sorry Grace. I suck. I do have a gift for you though :)

4) After nearly two years of only dreaming about them, I actually got to drink a Blue Bottle latte. It was beautiful and delicious.

5) Ok sooooo… can you keep a secret? I’ve sort of been …. seeing someone for a bit (which might have a litttttle something to do with my lack of updates. Maybe). I probably won’t say too much more – yet. But … suffice it to say he is the kind of man who remembered and filed away a conversation from more than a month ago where I mentioned an early 2008 trip to San Francisco where I had the “best latte I’ve ever had from this place called Blue Bottle”. Last week he knew I was feeling terrible, called the company and asked what kind of espresso bean I may have had in my latte when I was out there, placed the order, and had the beans delivered the day I got back from Dallas. And, if you can believe it, that’s just the beginning of the ridiculous journey this has been. But I’m not going to brag or anything :) I will say that after a relationship gone bad, two years of horrific dates including some recent absolutely terrible events, this …. is an unexpected but welcome turn of events.

6) My friends Sarah aka “Sasky” and Tony aka “Tony” had their very first baby a couple of days ago! They named him Desmond and he is absolutely precious. I would post his pics, but I’m not sure how far out into the internerd they’d like those to go, but here’s a visual: deliciously pudgy, tons of hair (OH THE HAIR!) and absolutely tiny and sweet and adorable.

So there you go. I hope I fulfilled at least a bit of my “where has she been?”/”Jen-gossip” quota for the day.

1) Travel. This I did do. ISH. I did manage to take more time off and go away. I did a week in Vermont on a lake in the woods, I spent a weekend in Provincetown, I flew to Miami and had a long weekend in Atlanta.

2) Spend More Time Outside. I did do this …. ish. I don’t think I quite accomplished getting away from my desk during the day as much as I would like, but I ran several road races this year which forced me to train outside. I spent that week in Vermont almost entirely outside. I made it to the beach half a dozen times this summer! It was a good outdoor year.

3) Get Back to Creating Art for FUN. I kind of sucked at this goal. I did rediscover a love for my (good) camera …. even if it was only a handful of times throughout the year.

4) Take More Risks In My Career. This I DEFINITELY did. I pitched a job that didn’t exist to the Executive Director of my company. Within two weeks I got promoted and am doing what I love.

5) Continue to Trim the Fat. Not physically — more like life clutter-wise. I was really great at this this year. That could have to do with moving twice though ….

6) Date More Wisely. I FAILED BIG TIME at this in 2009. BIG. HUGE. Like could not fail any worse. Until about a month ago.

7) Talk To More Strangers.I planned myself and helped plan a few really great networking events this year. I flew to conferences out of state and walked up to people I did not know. I did end up on one (unfortunate) dating rollercoaster (crash and burn) as a direct result of walking up to someone on the street. Whether the connection worked out or not, I definitely did this more.

8) A New Home. I got not one new home but two. That’s right. I moved from Dorchester into my first South End home (sublet) and then into the place I’m in now. I couldn’t be happier. I love my apartment.

9) More Random Acts of Kindness. I’m not going to say WHAT I did because that defeats the purpose of these, but I did a few this year. Not as many as I would like, but I did some nice anonymous things.

10) I’m stealing this from an article I read on the internet: Use this decade year to go to extremes. “Climb the tallest mountain you can find. Picnic at midnight. Learn to sail. Talk to strangers. Road trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Take a midnight drive to the beach -– then stick around for dawn. Take advantage of what you have: energy, idealism, enthusiasm, a willingness to experiment, a lack of encumbrances, a desire to learn and grow. Enjoy — and you’ll be better able to appreciate the next stage.”

I think I definitely learned to take responsibility for my own happiness this year. And that it’s ok to just let some things go, let some things happen, let some emotion out, let my guard down. I’m still working on all this, but I’m getting there.

All and all I’m pretty pleased with what I’ve done.

What did YOU accomplish in 2009?

I turned 29 this past week.

I was presented with adorable cupcakes by coworkers. I was taken out for a lovely birthday dinner, rang in my birthday with my best friend, had a birthday lunch with my grandparents, parents, uncle and sister. I drank good beer. I drank good wine. I was in good company.

I celebrated Christmas with the neighbors I call family. Every muscle in my body hurt the next day from laughing so hard.

My mother, father, sister and I celebrated Christmas. We took our time and passed around the most thoughtful gifts. We cooked more food than is even necessary for four people. We ate an Italian feast. We sipped on really good red wine. We watched movies and played around with our gifts. We had a small, lovely Christmas for a family of four.

I spent the evening curled up in front of the fire with friends. The next morning I had brunch, got a manicure (deep purple nailpolish) with one of my best friends. We danced around the city.

I spent the remainder of my time off curled up with hot drinks, a blanket, and a dog. I watched more movies in a weekend than I have in the past year. I let my guard down. I shut my phone off. I drank good coffee, I snacked on imported chocolates, I sipped on champagne. I stayed up until 5 a.m. and told a million stories and listened to a million more. I slept easily for the first time in months.

I hate to brag, but – life is good. In that super annoying, omg-please-shut-up-you-big-ball-of-cheese kind of way. Yeah. It feels nice to just … this. This is good. Life is good.

I got some AWESOME requests and put in a bunch of my own – it was my birthday party after all :) But here’s some pictures of all my awesome friends and below that the playlist we all made together to celebrate the very momentous day of my birthday (a week early!)

Thanks guys. Lots and lots of love.

(Click the pic for the whole set of photos!)

You Belong to Me – Michael McDonald
Fidelity – Regina Spektor
How Deep is Your Love – The Bird & The Bee
Sour Sour Times – Portishead
Teardrop – Massive Attack
Alone – Heart
Somebody to Love – Queen
You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates
Don’t Stand So Close to Me/Young Girl mashup – Glee
Don’t Rain on My Parade – Glee
Rich Girl – Hall & Oates
Vision of Love – Mariah Carey
Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’ – Journey
Hotel Song – Regina Spektor
Sweet Freedom – Michael McDonald
Empire State of Mind – Jay-Z (feat. Alicia Keys)
How Will I Know – Whitney Houston
Jump (For My Love) – The Pointer Sisters
La Isla Bonita – Madonna
Damn Girl – Justin Timberlake
Wanna Be Startin’ Something – Michael Jackson
Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen
F**K You – Lily Allen
Let Me Think About It – Ida Corr vs. Fedde Le Grand
Bad Romance – Lady Gaga
Party In The USA – Miley Cyrus
TiK ToK – Ke$ha
Million Dollar Bill – Whitney Houston
Evacuate the Dancefloor – Cascada
Teeth – Lady Gaga
Girlfriend (remix) – Avril Lavigne feat Lil’ Mama
Heartbreaker – Mariah Carey feat Jay-Z
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) – Beyonce
Birthday Sex – Jeremih
Circus – Britney Spears
Paparazzi – Lady Gaga
Band of Gold (remix) – Kimberley Locke
I Get So Emotional – Whitney Houston
My Life Would Suck Without You – Kelly Clarkson
Halo/Walking on Sunshine mashup – Glee
Awake – Letters to Cleo
River Deep, Mountain High – Celine Dion
Christmas Tree – Lady Gaga
Telephone – Lady Gaga & Beyonce
Meet Me Halfway – Black Eyed Peas
Roxanne – The Police
Boyz – MIA
Diva – Beyonce
Got Some Teeth – Obie Trice
Ladies Choice – Hairspray
Defying Gravity – Wicked
Bust Your Windows – Glee
Love You I Do – Jennifer Hudon
LoveGame – Lady Gaga
We Belong Together (remix) – Mariah Carey
Spotlight – Jennifer Hudson
Prove Yourself – Joan Armatrading
Beautiful, Dirty Rich – Lady Gaga
Jenny From the Stronger Block (mash up) – Jennifer Lopez vs. Britney Spears
Hot Dog! – The Detroit Cobras
Gay Boyfriend – The Hazzards
Overprotected – Britney Spears
Boys Boys Boys – Lady Gaga
All My Life – K-Ci and Jojo

Feel free to make fun or make your own :)

A few years ago I made a not so secret confession to a family friend: I am absolutely terrified of clowns. Not like “Haha. Clowns are creepy. Everyone thinks so.” Like I would CRY when I saw them as a child. Maybe I still do now. Shut up. They’re scary.

So this family friend thought it would be hilarious to purchase me a clown ornament for Christmas a few years back and wrap it up so I would never suspect the horror I was about to open.

Let’s just say I threw the box down and ran out of the room.

It soon became a tradition in the family grab to secretly re-gift this damn clown. THE HORROR. You never knew who was going to get it. It was like damn CLOWN ROULETTE.

*shudder*

Well cut to Saturday night. I got to my Dad’s for our weekly dinner. He was starting on cooking, and had set up our Christmas tree. He told me and my sister to decorate it while he cooked.

I walked over to the tree and screamed. The only ornament he had put up so far? THAT DAMN CLOWN.

Thanks Dad. My therapist will thank you for that extra appointment I had to make because of you.

Anyway, I of course took a picture to photo-text attack other family members with this horrific clown. (Aren’t we a delightful family?)

My Dad emailed the picture back to me yesterday with the following email:

“Jen, I hate to say this, but is this clown holding himself???? wtf?”

AMAZING right?

No what was amazing was that he put that same picture on his Facebook page with the following caption:

“There’s a sex offender on my Christmas Tree…”

And now, my friends, you can clearly see where my sense of humor comes from.

Something those of you should know about conferences, at least all the ones I’ve attended, is that there are always parties. Parties, parties, and more parties. Every company is trying to outdo their competition, people are running around trying to make an appearance everywhere. From beginning to end, you never stop running around, you’re always working, and by the time you get home you are sitting in a mountain of business cards, glassy eyed and have no idea what just happened.

Like I said I made plenty of amazing connections (I’d like to give a particularly big shout out to Taryn Pisaneschi (@TarynP on Twitter). We hit it off the very first day and met up throughout the rest of the conference. She is good people, and smart to boot!

It’s a good thing to stand out in a crowd like like that. Especially since I have the memory of an insect. It’s nice to remember specific interactions during a time when you’re meeting people essentially 24/7 for a week.

One of my favorite conversations happened with a person who coincidentally works out of Cambridge, MA. I won’t put his name here juuuuust in case he doesn’t want his name tied to our conversation, but it was one of the more hilarious ones I had.

Basically what you should know about Expo Expo is that it’s a conference for event professionals, and this year I attended the Social Media track. So all day long you’d be having conversations about your twitter name, your presence on Facebook, etc. People would start talking about “transparency” and “SEO” and all the same stuff you hear about social media EVERYWHERE. Which why this conversation was so refreshing:

Jenny: Oh hello man that my coworker just introduced me to! Nice to meet you. I hear your company is the one running this board over here.

Man: Oh hey Jenny, nice to meet you as well. Yes our company specializes in this type of service. So tell me what do you do?

Jenny: Oh I’m a Design & Digital Media Specialist – I work for the convention centers in Boston. (Hands over professional business card) But I also run my own site, events and do some work on the side that this would be useful for. (Hands over personal business card.)

Man: (Examines both cards for a few moments) Oh awesome! You’re a Social Media Douchebag too!!

Both burst out laughing.

Jenny: OMG. I am getting new cards made up immediately.

I absolutely will be contacting that company, first obviously because they provide a good service that I can use, but secondly – that guy was hilarious. And had me figured out in 2 seconds or less. Amazing.

I have a few methods when trying to think of names. This of course has been complicated by the whole Twitter revolution (since I will be Twittering about it for work quite often and don’t want 50 of my available characters to go to a NAME).

The first thing I do is go through the project specs and pull out all the action verbs.

So now we have project related words. Now what? I write them on a white board.

Now we throw some of the better and more applicable ones (the ones that make it to the whiteboard) into the Visual Thesaurus.

Then I’ll take all the usable words that pop up from there and add those to the whiteboard list.

Then I walk away from all project related materials.

I look in other unexpected places for nice sounding words, workable words, words that fit the scope of the project that don’t appear in the materials I have in front of me.

Today, for fun, I went to iTunes. I know it sounds silly, but there are some amazing title names, and lines from songs that might jump out at me.

I add those words to my list and just start combining them. I take 10-20 of my favorites and present them in a meeting. I have two colleagues doing the same thing. In our meeting we’ll take my favorites, their favorites and start combining those until IT WORKS.

Sometimes we have to have a few of these meetings, with several rounds of edits, but at the end of it, we came up with something that absolutely did not exist before we jumped in.

Pretty cool, huh?

While I was deep in iTunes land I realized I have the weirdest collection of music …. ever. Interest piqued? Take a look at every artist in my library – the good, the bad and the real ugly. (I saved you from listing every single compilation/soundtrack I own and stuck with artists/bands).

So click here to see

A
Abba
AC/DC
Ace of Base
Adele
Aerosmith
Afghan Whigs
Age Rings
Air Supply
Al Green
Alanis Morissette
Alicia Keys
Alkaline Trio
Amber
Amy Winehouse
Andrew Bird
Angelito Villalona
Annie Lenox
Aretha Franklin
Arrested Development
Ashlee Simpson
Astrud Gilberto
Avenue Q sound track
Avril Lavigne

B
B-52s
Bad Company
Bally Sagoo
Band of Horses
The Bangles
Barry White
Basement Jaxx
The Beach Boys
Beastie Boys
The Beatles
Bebel Gilberto
Belle & Sebastian
Ben Folds
Beyonce
Bill Janovitz
Billy Idol
Billy Joel
Bjork
Blondie
Bob Dylan
Bobby Darin
Bon Jovi
Bonnie Tyler
Bonobo
Boston Pops Orchestra
Boy George
Brandy
Britney Spears
Bruce Springsteen
Buffalo Tom
Burt Bacharach
Busta Rymes
Butthole Surfers

C
C+C Music Factory
The Calling
Captain & Tennile
The Cardigans
Carrie Underwood
The Cars
Cascada
Cecilia Noel & The Wild Clams
Celine Dion
Cheap Trick
Cher
Cheryl Lynn
Christina Aguliera
Christopher Cross
Clay Aiken
Coldplay
Colin Hay
Color Me Bad
Craig Armstrong
Culture Club
Cyndi Lauper

D
Damien Jurado
Damone
Danity Kane
Dashboard Confessional
David Bowie
Dead or Alive
Dean Martin
Deborah Cox
Deee-Lite
Depeche Mode
Des’ree
Destiny’s Child
Detroit Cobras
Dexter Gordon
Diane Warren
Dido
Dimitri from Paris
Donna Summer
Donny Osmond
Doobie Brothers
Dreamgirls Soundtrack
Drexel
Dropkick Murphys
Durran Durran

E
Eldridge Rodriguez
Elton John
Elvis Costello
En Vogue
Estelle
Esthero
Etta James
Europe
Eva Cassidy
Everclear
Express Rising

F
Faith Hill
Fantasia
Favorite Atomic Hero
Fergie
A Fine Frenzy
The Flaming Lips
Flo Rida
Flock of Seagulls
The Flying Lizards
Foam & Mesh
Frank Sinatra
Frank Smith
Franz Ferdinand
Freda Payne
Frente!
Further

G
Garbage
Gavin Friday
Girl Talk
Gladys Knight and the Pips
Glee Cast
The Goonies

H
Hairspray soundtrack
Hall & Oates
Hanson
The Hazzards
Heart
Hooray for Earth

I
I Have Ears
Ida Corr
Imogene Heap
Indigo Girls

J
J Lo
J Geils Band
Jamie I’ Neil
Jane’s Addication
Janet Jackson
Jawbreaker
Jay-Z
Jeff Buckley
Jennifer Holliday
Jennifer Hudson
Jessica Simpson
Jimmy Eat World
Joan Jett
Joe Cocker
John Coltrane
John Mayer
John Waite
Johnny Cash
Jonathan Richman
Joni Mitchell
Journey
Juliana Hatfield
Julie London
Justin Timberlake
Juvenile

K
K-Ci and Jojo
K7
Kajagoogoo
Kanye West
Katrina & The Waves
Kelly Clarkson
Kicked in the Head
Kid Rock
Kim Carnes
Kim Wilde
Kimberly Locke
Kylie Minogue
Kym Mazelle

L
Lady Gaga
Led Zeppelin
The Lemonheads
Letters to Cleo
Lionel Richie
Lipps Inc.
Lou Rawls
Lovers Muggers & Theives
Low Red Land
Lucero
Lucinda Williams
Lux
Lynden David Hall

M
Madder Rose
Madonna
Mandy Moore
Marc Shaiman
Mariah Carey
Maroon 5
Marvin Gaye
Mary J. Blige
Mel C.
Men at Work
MGMT
Michael Buble
Michael Jackson
Michael McDonald
Michael Seimbello
Miles Davis
Miley Cyrus
Missy Elliott
Mittens
Moby
The Modern Lovers
Modjo
Mogwai
Monifah
Morrissey
Motley Crue
Mr. Big
Mndy
Musical Youth
My Morning Jacket

N
‘N Sync
Natalie Cole
Naughty By Nature
New Kids on the Block
New Order
Norah Jones
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

O
Obie Trice
Ol Dirty Bastard
One Inch Punch
Otis Redding

P
Pink
Pat Benetar
Pearl Jam
Phil Collins
Pink Floyd
The Pointer Sisters
Poison
The Police
Portishead
The Presidents of the United States
Pretenders
Prince
The Psychedelic Furs
Pussy Cat Dolls

Q
Queen
Quindon Tarver

R
Radiohead
Random Acts of Violence
Ray Castoldi
Ray Charles
Red House Painters
Reel Big Fish
Regina Spektor
Rick Springfield
Rhianna
Rilo Kiley
Robbie Williams
Robyn
Ryan Adams

S
Sade
Salt ‘n’ Pepa
Sarah McLachlan
Scorpians
Self
The Sharking
Sheena Easton
Sheryl Crow
The Smiths
Sondre Lerche
Sonic Youth
Spandau Ballet
Spice Girls
Spoon
Steely Dan
Stevie Wonder
Stina Nordenstam
Sting
Stu Walker
Sugababes
Sugarcubes
Sun Kil Moon
The Supremes
Survivor
SWV

T
Technotronic
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists
The Teenage Prayers
Texas
The Thermals
They Might Be Giants
Thin Lizzy
The Thompson Twins
Three Degrees
Tim McGraw
Timbaland
TLC
Tom Waits
Tomorrow the Gallows
Toni Basil
Two Gallants

V
Van Halen
Venice Shoreline Chris
The Veronicas
The Village People

W
WG Snuffy Walden
Waltham
The Wannadies
The Weakerthans
Weezer
Where the Land Meets the Sea
Whiskeytown
White Snake
Whiteney Houston
Wildlife
Wilco
Willa Ford
William Elliot Whitmore
Wyclef Jean

X
Xavier Cugat and his Orchestra

Y
Yael Naim
Yes

Z
Zakk Wylde

0-10
98 Degrees

Amazing. Thank you for the heads up reader Lizzy! (She linked me here.)

Lyrics:
I lay it out like they do in magazines
check out this typeface it’s like smoking nicotine (I love it)
using Adobe’s not the same without a Mac
if it was lead it would be lined up on a track

oh,oh,oh,oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I’ll mock it up, show you what I got
oh,oh,oh,oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I’ll mock it up, show you what I got

You’ll read my,
You’ll read my,
You can read my Neutra Face
(Even if it’s bold italic)
You’ll read my,
You’ll read my,
You can read my Neutra Face
(Even if it’s bold italic)

N-n-n-neutra face, n-n-n-neutra face
nah nah nah nah
N-n-n-neutra face, n-n-n-neutra face
nah nah nah nah

Thought about Futura but the em space was to wide
not even when condensed,believe me i’ve already tried
Gill sans the G is wack when it’s in lowercase
Avante Garde you make me hard but like Helvetica you’ve been played

oh,oh,oh,oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I’ll mock it up, show you what I got
oh,oh,oh,oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I’ll mock it up, show you what I got

You’ll read my,
You’ll read my,
You can read my Neutra Face
(Even if it’s bold italic)
You’ll read my,
You’ll read my,
You can read my Neutra Face
(Even if it’s bold italic)

N-n-n-neutra face, n-n-n-neutra face
nah nah nah nah
N-n-n-neutra face, n-n-n-neutra face
nah nah nah nah

I won’t tell you that you’re modern
post- or nouveau
cause I’m hype’n with my type’n
I’m not freehandin’, letterpressin’, texting or skywriting
like a finger on a keyboard
break a nail before I cross you
see my references, reference this
check this font cause it’s sans serif

You’ll read my,
You’ll read my,
You can read my Neutra Face
(Even if it’s bold italic)
You’ll read my,
You’ll read my,
You can read my Neutra Face
(Even if it’s bold italic)