Archive for the 'NaBloPoMo' Category

The following voicemail was left on my phone this morning:

Hi Jen, Today on my lunch break I’m going to run to the house and grab the last box and drop it off with your sister. I’m just going to put it in her car, so she’ll be able to bring it back to your apartment tonight. I hope you enjoyed all the leftovers from dinner! Well, have a nice day and I’ll see you this weekend! Bye! Love you, pumpkin!

… Oh by the way. This is your mother.

God, I love my mum.

So this is the last day of NaBloPoMo. It’s been a good month. Thanks again Eden for organizing.

Before I go and leave you blogless for two whole days in a row (I can do that now!), I just want to post a final reminder about my holiday cards and desktops. Purchase the cards by clicking the shiny yellow button in my sidebar ($10 … 15 cards… in 3 days or less!). Get more info and the desktops from this much more informative entry here.

Enjoy the weekend folks!

Because I know you all care. Oh so very much.

It was suggested I try some over the counter sleep aids, just to give myself a nudge. Basically, I found out they are Benedryl without the medicine - just the sleepy factor. Took them Monday, didn’t appear to have any affect. Took them Tuesday, and while they didn’t make me fall asleep quicker, I did manage to fall asleep at a reasonable hour and only wake up ONCE during the night but was so incredibly groggy all yesterday. So my plan was to take them EVEN earlier last night to see if they’d kick in and prevent me from being the walking dead all day today.

Last night my friend Liz and I had dinner. After we returned back to my apartment so that A.) we could watch America’s Next Top Model together and B.) so that I could take the pills even EARLIER than I did the night before. Bonus that Liz is in the medical field and could actually witness what affect, if any, these pills were having on me.

Well I took them at 8:00 on the nose. She left at 9:30 and I was not sleepy in the least. In fact, I tried on three outfit options for today and modeled them all for my sister. And after just hung out in my bed.

Basically, my body hates me and nothing will kill the Insomniac Beast living inside of me. But I promised to try this for a week. So tonight, we’ll experiment again.

(Can you sense my HATE? Because it’s there. IN FULL FORCE.)

There are no words. Other than “WOW”. That’s it. Just wow.

Devoted Customer Upset Jimmy Dean Downsized Sausage 16oz To 12oz But Charges Same Price.

Warning: some of the (hilarious) language is NSFW.

Also, those of you who ordered holiday card gift packs (uh, can I say “THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!”), I shipped every order I received so far (like as in orders that came in as of 4:15 today). Depending on what lovely city you live in you should receive your cards in 1 - 3 days.

I’m feeling particularly festive today. In fact, I am wearing a holiday red three quarter length cashmere cardigan with rhinestone buttons - fancy! But I’m also whipping out the holiday goods a few days before December. So yay for you!

First up, holiday cards. Remember last year when I sold them? And after the holidays I had a clearance where I sold them for super cheap just to get rid of the last box and I was super psyched? Well think of how not psyched I was when my mother called me up a few weeks ago to ask if she could grab a set from the box I had stored at her house. WHAT BOX?

So good news for you, I am selling the rest this season for even less than the clearance price last year. $10.00 gets you 15 cards, 15 envelopes and includes shipping. Now that my friends is what we call a deal (for you numbers people, that’s like fifty cents a card). If you care to purchase some, please redirect your eyes to my sidebar. Right there. Where it says “Holiday Card Time”? Click the shiny yellow “BUY NOW” button and VIOLA! you’ll have your very own set. (Preview the image on the card here)

Next up, Holiday Desktops! What fun are the holidays if you can’t decorate? And when decorating, don’t forget your computer. You stare at it enough hours out of the day, it may as well be festive too. I created a bunch more this year .. I was feeling particularly retro when doing so, which you’ll see.

Some of the new ones:

View the whole set and get you own desktops here!

(I can’t believe after that blog title some of you are actually reading this.)

You know what’s awesome? And by awesome I mean so incredibly annoying you want to hurl your body off a cliff? Insomnia. Insomnia for no reason. Insomnia for no reason that has lasted for weeks on end (my best guess would be about 6-7 weeks).

I’ve probably mentioned my inability to have a normal night’s sleep in … oh every entry I’ve posted throughout NaBloPoMo so thank god for the textless Daily Photo which features no mention of my sleeplessness. HI NABLOPOMO-IANS, aren’t you glad there are only a handful of days left?!

You know what is the best part of insomnia? And of course by best you know I mean effing ridiculously worst part? Laying there in the taunting glow of my clock at 11:03, 12:34, 1:21, 2:54, 3:24, 4:16, 4:17, 4:18, holy mother of god it’s 6:23 and my alarm is going off in 20 minutes … you get the point. Welcome to my life as of late. Welcome to my morning. Right here. Right now.

You know what else RULES about insomnia? When you combine way too much sleeplessness with way too much tequila. You know what that equals? DO YOU?! It equals your friend coming up to you at a bar you are both at, having a two second conversation that NORMALLY would be - NORMAL, except combined with the aforementioned NO SLEEP and BOTTOMLESS GLASSES OF TEQUILA equals you crying (could I be any more of a stupid girl?). And her storming out. (And of course, as these things go, we are not actually mad at each other. In fact, I just got off the phone with her. For the second time today. Also she is probably one of the most amazing humans I know. Which makes the situation at least a little funny. To us at least. I’m sure the other bar patrons were all, “Um. STFU losers.”)

On a more hilarious note, the sleeplessness combined with tequila had me sneaking around the bar earlier in the night with a camera “hidden” in my hand, snapping “secret” photos of one of my friends who I haven’t seen or talked to in several years. Why was this funny? Because I was calling him Sasquatch. Picture that in your head. Really picture that. Now tell me you aren’t laughing. At me. Because, by all means, I truly deserve to be laughed AT.

(And just as a disclaimer, because we all know that my blog LOVES to get me in trouble because I often forget to blog the details of how things come to be: this person I was calling Sasquatch is not Sasquatch-like at all and is not the reason the joke started. Me standing there with a camera, with the flash off, stabilizing it on a table, hunched down, “sneaking” a shot of a person I haven’t seen in forever just to have a pic of him … THAT is the “Sasquatch” metaphor. NOT the person.)

In conclusion, the only thing worse than someone who complains day in and day out about not being able to sleep is someone who complains day in and day out about not being able to sleep and not DOING anything about it. (Sheepishly raises hand). I’m one of those people who hates having to take pills. Like one of those I’d rather take a nap than an Advil for a headache people (ANNOYING). Last night I tried some NyQuil because this is getting ridiculous. But you know what? Even though it says right on the box that it causes drowsiness and contains sedating antihistamines, those stupid pills made me even more restless and JITTERY.

I think if nothing else, the past few days have truly revealed the stubborn beast that is Jenny. I need to return to a normal functioning human being. I think that Sasquatch joke was just a foreshadowing of what I am destined to become. A comfy bed and over the counter cold medicines that MAY cause drowsiness clearly aren’t doing the trick.

Raises white flag. Starts waving.